**a bit if a lengthy read, but well worth it!!!**
mistakes are easy to make.
we make them every day, and usually they are not that big of a deal
they teach us lessons and help us learn, and hopefully we are capable enough to learn not to make the same mistake twice.
what happens when our lives are not in our control and mistakes are made? what happens when parents make mistakes when it comes to their judgement? their decisions? what happens when our lives are altered at a young age because of a choice a parent makes?
We are all told we can be whatever we want to be right? To reach for the stars, and to grow to our full potential. What happens when that growth is stifled? What happens when our potential is cut off at the knees so to speak due to our parents or choices of adults around us?
as we grow and develop we have our own thoughts, wants and wishes. we know what it is we want and what feels right at a very young age. I feel it is up to parents not to argue with the child, because that child will without a doubt argue back. why wouldn’t they? wouldn’t you? didn’t you? but so many times that is forgotten and the control factor comes into play because rather than truly listen to the needs of the child the parent gets selfish and lets that interfere. they forget that there is a reason for the back talk, there is a reason for the behavior, and the attitude. not to mention resentment felt by the parent for having to constantly take care of them and the child knows that, and feels that very much. especially as they get older. that shapes the child, makes them who they will become. it is up to the parents to never ever loose focus of the fact that that child always and without a doubt comes first. not you, not your significant other, not your family and friends, the child or children.
as the child becomes a teenager and begins forming more adult thoughts, feelings and attitudes it is going to be a difficult thing to handle without that base of understanding that child and that child being completely comfortable with themselves and with you. teenagers talk back, roll their eyes, and have attitudes, it is a given. that is a tough time and an especially needy time whether or not they show that or not. does that mean that the moment they get mouthy and you get fed up you put them out?? no? do you smack them across the face?? of course not! do you call them names and cuss them out? no, because then they will have that same attitude.
as the child becomes an adult and looks back things become more aware they see things for what they were as they grew up and it can be a rude awakening.
it is bad enough to look back and see your own mistakes and regrets. it is even worse to look back and see your parents mistakes and realize, wow, if it wasn’t for them at that moment I could have achieved more and this chain of events that happened as a result would not have happened if it weren’t for them and their decision.
you have a responsibility, a duty as a parent to never fail your child. EVER. being a parent is a big sacrifice. a lot of selfless thoughts, a lot of selfless actions. that child will be who they are because of you, and no one else. not their friends, not the school they go to. from the time they are born they are learning behavior, mood, manipulation, control, all of that, and how you handle it determines how they will turn out. it is definitely a lot of work, and it is not easy at all! but with patience, love, and true understanding it gets easier.
I know my generation is pretty much a bunch of basket cases because our parents were too damn lazy, drugged out, our just incapable of being the parents we needed. so much potential gone to waste. and that needs to stop.
I wrote this not specifically to anyone… and not about me. if anything it stems from thinking about people I know that were robbed of their chances, and still face that reality daily. it is not a good feeling to have. to one day realize oh wow, you mean I was able, I could have, but because of someone else I didn’t or couldn’t is horrible. at least if you miss out you want it to be your own fault. so parents please remember that.
Help your child reach their full potential, and know that you did the best you could, so that way there are no real regrets in your future, and especially your child’s.
Being a parent is undoubtedly the most tedious, difficult and stressful job there is. But it is also the most fulfilling, rewarding and amazing job there is.
originally written 7.3.11