Losing a Dream (2.28.09)


*this is a previous writing from another blog that I posted on 2.28.09)

As a dreamer (I was even voted class dreamer in high school… lol) letting go of dreams, hopes and fantasies is a difficult thing to do. You end up feeling like you are just going through the motions of life. You feel uncomfortable and naked. Exposed to the ugly that is out there in the world. There is nothing worse than a dreamer who has forgotten to dream. There is nothing worse than letting go of a dream that is just in arms reach and then looking back and getting smacked in the face with reality.
Nationwide is right. Life does come at you fast. I have been thinking about life, and how much I have not done and how much I want to do. I am going to turn 32 in two months and that is tapping me in the back of the head and at any moment it’s going to scream and knock me down a couple pegs. Makes me think of Dane Cook when he talks about crying and how there is just that moment where there is a tap on your shoulder and you turn around and it’s the world and it says “you’re gonna cry”. Of course he said it a hell of a lot funnier but you get the jest.
This economy is screwed to shit, my friends are losing jobs left and right, everyone is broke and struggling and it really weighs heavy sometimes. People are getting themselves in situations that they never saw themselves in. So many of my peers are questioning life, and what’s going to happen. It is scary. It is unnatural. This is not the way life was supposed to be at all. It’s as though everyone is having a mid-life crisis and breaking down. Where is the light at the end of the tunnel? How long before we all realize that we have to do this ourselves?? WE NEED COMMUNITY!! UNITY!! Cities have gotten so big that there is no community anymore. No one knows their neighbors anymore, at least not like we used to. We used to trust our neighbors with our homes, our mail our children. Now that community, that trust is gone. We need to get back to simplicity and lose the extra bullshit. Let’s not forget that at the end of the day we are all people and we all need to know we are not alone in this struggle. Instead of sitting back and complaining let’s come up with a small solution. Be it carpooling, moving in with someone, or simply cutting out a lot of the things you used to enjoy just to make sure you are able to take care of yourself then so be it. Let’s stop living above our means with material things and live above our means with love, with compassion, with sincerity. Where has unity gone? We need it back and fast.
I don’t want to lose my dream. I want to know that I can go out there and still achieve and I want every one around me to know the same. I want to feel the tingles forever… I don’t want to stop feeling and become simply a shell of who I could have been. I want to continue being a dreamer but it is hard to do when the world around you is trying to snuff out your dream and break you. I won’t let it though. I will continue dreaming and one day I will achieve my goals and dreams.


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