There is a new movie out called Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and the title alone made me ponder some things.
Are we all haunted by our past relationships? Do we have the bad habit of carrying baggage from previous heartache and battles to our new relationships? Do I still have old issues from my past that I cling onto like a security blanket to keep me at arms length? There are times I catch myself getting upset and frustrated with my boyfriend and I seriously have to stop myself and realize that it is not him I am mad at. I am projecting past experiences and past moments onto the now and I cannot do that. There has to be a way to separate the past from the present. We are supposed to learn from our mistakes and the past but that is completely different than holding on to it and lashing out the moment you feel that old twinge of anger that you felt before. Is it a way of getting all of the feelings you wanted to get out before? Is it a way of ensuring that the same thing won’t happen again?
How do we know that it is ok to let our guard down and let go of that ghost that continues to haunt us? Men and women both have the tendency to latch certain characteristics of their previous partners and the moment they see the negative ones come out in their new partner the fight or flight response kicks in. Rational adults revert back to their past and start acting out in ways that do not match the situation at hand. It is hard to separate an impulse reaction from the correct one sometimes.
It seems as if the past relationships continuously haunt us. It takes a lot of training and understanding of one another to let go of all of that and realize that they are not your past. I think once you open your mind to the fact that it is different and he might not do the same thing the ghosts go away and no longer haunt.
It is ok to let go and love again, and that is something that we all need to be reminded of every once in a while.